The subjects of this contest will be the Sapphire or the Blue moon dragons. Write a poem about either or both. There will be a little change to the rules this time, though. This time the poem must be intentionally and humourously terrible and satirical. Think of the most cliche, trite, banal fluff you have ever read and multiply it by eleven. Think a teenage girl's diary poetry. Think so bad that it is good. Extra points for form, cliche, and painfully inappropriate analogies, mixed metaphors, awkward assonance, alliteration, et cetera.
Entries must be in by 16 september. Winner receives SEVEN gems.
The subjects of this contest will be the Sapphire or the Blue moon dragons. Write a poem about either or both. There will be a little change to the rules this time, though. This time the poem must be intentionally and humourously terrible and satirical. Think of the most cliche, trite, banal fluff you have ever read and multiply it by eleven. Think a teenage girl's diary poetry. Think so bad that it is good. Extra points for form, cliche, and painfully inappropriate analogies, mixed metaphors, awkward assonance, alliteration, et cetera.
Entries must be in by 13 september. Winner receives SEVEN gems.
koala!
Anyone interested? Extending the deadline to the 16th since no one has submitted an entry so far.
The subjects of this contest will be the Sapphire or the Blue moon dragons. Write a poem about either or both. There will be a little change to the rules this time, though. This time the poem must be intentionally and humourously terrible and satirical. Think of the most cliche, trite, banal fluff you have ever read and multiply it by eleven. Think a teenage girl's diary poetry. Think so bad that it is good. Extra points for form, cliche, and painfully inappropriate analogies, mixed metaphors, awkward assonance, alliteration, et cetera.
Entries must be in by 13 september. Winner receives SEVEN gems.
koala!
Anyone interested? Extending the deadline to the 16th since no one has submitted an entry so far.
Thanks for the extension. Work is very busy right now, but I do want to submit an entry.
There was a blue moon, Came and went too soon. Lucky for us she was easy to breed, The last to catch up, now I can feel freed. She saw me standing alone, Without a love of my own. Wait, where did that come from, Now I'm feeling so glum. They say plagiarism is a sin, Time to quit this and have a gin...and tonic of course!
There was a blue moon, Came and went too soon. Lucky for us she was easy to breed, The last to catch up, now I can feel freed. She saw me standing alone, Without a love of my own. Wait, where did that come from, Now I'm feeling so glum. They say plagiarism is a sin, Time to quit this and have a gin...and tonic of course!
Once upon an island, airy, as I conjured green and scaly, Over many a quaint species of fantastic lore, As I chanted, staff extended, suddenly there came a cracking, As of something gently hatching, hatching on my chamber floor. ‘Tis but a failure,’ I muttered, ‘hatching on my chamber floor – Only this and nothing more.’
Ah distinctly, I remember, on that first morning in September, And each shining taper cast its hope upon the floor, Eagerly, in my chateau – though in vain I thought it so – From my staff a magic glow: a serpent’s egg with soft décor. For that rare and radiant egg that wizards all adore... A Mountain egg, nothing more.
And the sad aquatic hue of several silken pedestal blue Chilled me – filled me with draconic terrors from the months before; So that now, to calm the throbbing of my aching heart, I stood repeating ‘This eyesore I can ignore, hatching on my chamber floor, Attempt, I will, Sapphire encore, wherefore a wizard, we are sure, This we are, right to the core!’
Presently, my voice grew louder, firmly cleaving blue egg asunder, ‘Rain,’ said I, ‘and Mountain truly, your co’peration I implore. But the fact is you’ve been slacking, for too sweetly you’ve been sighing, And so softly you’ve been squeezing, beyond the epic island’s door, That I scarcely want to keep you.’ Here I opened wide that door: ‘IT IS TIME TO GET HARDCORE!!!’
Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there, hoping, fearing, Doubting, dreaming dreams no wizard dared to dream before. A whole day I stood there, waitin’, though the darkness gave no token, And the only word there spoken was the whispered word ‘Sapphire:’ This I whispered and an echo murmured back the word ‘Sapphire;’ With crying eyes I did admire.
Back into my tower turning, all the magic within me burning, Anon again I heard a cracking somewhat louder than before. ‘Surely’ said I, ‘surely that sound is coming from the nests, Let me see then, what thereat is, and the Sapphire I require Let my heart be still a moment, though my feelings all awhirl, For this blue dragon named “LostGirl”.’
Edit: With original credit to Edgar Allen Poe "The Raven" for the meter and rhyme scheme and most of the words.
Wowowowowow! Superb text Myke, congrats. Well now to my dictionnary as there are plenty of unknown words in that poem, at least unknown to me poor frenchy !
Once upon an island, airy, as I conjured green and scaly, Over many a quaint species of fantastic lore, As I chanted, staff extended, suddenly there came a cracking, As of something gently hatching, hatching on my chamber floor. ‘Tis but a failure,’ I muttered, ‘hatching on my chamber floor – Only this and nothing more.’
Ah distinctly, I remember, on that first morning in September, And each shining taper cast its hope upon the floor, Eagerly, in my chateau – though in vain I thought it so – From my staff a magic glow: a serpent’s egg with soft décor. For that rare and radiant egg that wizards all adore... A Mountain egg, nothing more.
And the sad aquatic hue of several silken pedestal blue Chilled me – filled me with draconic terrors from the months before; So that now, to calm the throbbing of my aching heart, I stood repeating ‘This eyesore I can ignore, hatching on my chamber floor, Attempt, I will, Sapphire encore, wherefore a wizard, we are sure, This we are, right to the core!’
Presently, my voice grew louder, firmly cleaving blue egg asunder, ‘Rain,’ said I, ‘and Mountain truly, your co’peration I implore. But the fact is you’ve been slacking, for too sweetly you’ve been sighing, And so softly you’ve been squeezing, beyond the epic island’s door, That I scarcely want to keep you.’ Here I opened wide that door: ‘IT IS TIME TO GET HARDCORE!!!’
Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there, hoping, fearing, Doubting, dreaming dreams no wizard dared to dream before. A whole day I stood there, waitin’, though the darkness gave no token, And the only word there spoken was the whispered word ‘Sapphire:’ This I whispered and an echo murmured back the word ‘Sapphire;’ With crying eyes I did admire.
Back into my tower turning, all the magic within me burning, Anon again I heard a cracking somewhat louder than before. ‘Surely’ said I, ‘surely that sound is coming from the nests, Let me see then, what thereat is, and the Sapphire I require Let my heart be still a moment, though my feelings all awhirl, For this blue dragon names “LostGirl”.’
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