Post by Pixie on Sept 17, 2012 22:22:23 GMT -6
The new n m'proved poetry contest!
The subjects of this contest will be the Sapphire or the Blue moon dragons. Write a poem about either or both. There will be a little change to the rules this time, though. This time the poem must be intentionally and humourously terrible and satirical. Think of the most cliche, trite, banal fluff you have ever read and multiply it by eleven. Think a teenage girl's diary poetry. Think so bad that it is good. Extra points for form, cliche, and painfully inappropriate analogies, mixed metaphors, awkward assonance, alliteration, et cetera.
Entries must be in by 16 september. Winner receives SEVEN gems.
The entries:
buzzhope
There was a blue moon,
Came and went too soon.
Lucky for us she was easy to breed,
The last to catch up, now I can feel freed.
She saw me standing alone,
Without a love of my own.
Wait, where did that come from,
Now I'm feeling so glum.
They say plagiarism is a sin,
Time to quit this and have a gin...and tonic of course!
Myke's Edgar Allen Poe adaptation
Once upon an island, airy, as I conjured green and scaly,
Over many a quaint species of fantastic lore,
As I chanted, staff extended, suddenly there came a cracking,
As of something gently hatching, hatching on my chamber floor.
‘Tis but a failure,’ I muttered, ‘hatching on my chamber floor –
Only this and nothing more.’
Ah distinctly, I remember, on that first morning in September,
And each shining taper cast its hope upon the floor,
Eagerly, in my chateau – though in vain I thought it so –
From my staff a magic glow: a serpent’s egg with soft décor.
For that rare and radiant egg that wizards all adore...
A Mountain egg, nothing more.
And the sad aquatic hue of several silken pedestal blue
Chilled me – filled me with draconic terrors from the months before;
So that now, to calm the throbbing of my aching heart, I stood repeating
‘This eyesore I can ignore, hatching on my chamber floor,
Attempt, I will, Sapphire encore, wherefore a wizard, we are sure,
This we are, right to the core!’
Presently, my voice grew louder, firmly cleaving blue egg asunder,
‘Rain,’ said I, ‘and Mountain truly, your co’peration I implore.
But the fact is you’ve been slacking, for too sweetly you’ve been sighing,
And so softly you’ve been squeezing, beyond the epic island’s door,
That I scarcely want to keep you.’ Here I opened wide that door:
‘IT IS TIME TO GET HARDCORE!!!’
Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there, hoping, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no wizard dared to dream before.
A whole day I stood there, waitin’, though the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word ‘Sapphire:’
This I whispered and an echo murmured back the word ‘Sapphire;’
With crying eyes I did admire.
Back into my tower turning, all the magic within me burning,
Anon again I heard a cracking somewhat louder than before.
‘Surely’ said I, ‘surely that sound is coming from the nests,
Let me see then, what thereat is, and the Sapphire I require
Let my heart be still a moment, though my feelings all awhirl,
For this blue dragon named “LostGirl”.’
Edit: With original credit to Edgar Allen Poe "The Raven" for the meter and rhyme scheme and most of the words.
----
And his original work:
I stand alone under a pregnant sky
and the sanctuary is dark and brooding
and the dragonsai tree is barren and still
Suddenly the sanctuary doors bursts open
and the dragonsai tree begins to rustle
and the clatter sends all the dragons for shelter
Lightning strikes soundlessly in the distance
and the dragonsai tree is dancing violently
and I must anchor myself in its embrace
Rain and Mountain emerge catching their breath
and the sky opens coating the land with life
and the nursery is ripe with their blue fruit
I stand alone under a tranquil sky
and if I look up I can see clear blue acceptance
and I am certain that I am being watched
The wind starts up again
and I allow myself to dance with the dragonsai tree
and I rise to be accepted
RoPhFi and her adaptation of Mary Howitts The Spider and the Fly
"Will you breed within my island?" said the Mountain to the Rain,
"'Tis the prettiest little island to watch them go insane;
The way into my island is up high up in the sky,
And we have many fails to make in hopes this player cries."
"Oh no, no," said the Rain, "to ask me is poor taste;
For I am busy making gold and time I do not waste."
"But this vendetta I do have; I like to be a pain.
On my island we will laugh" said the Mountain to the Rain.
"There are mud and snow and ice and fog, the biggest fail of all,
A rainbow two days can kill, just watch their gem count fall"
"Oh no, no," said the little Rain, "They've worked so hard to make
Those many gems and hours of hope I could never take!"
Said the cunning Mountain to the Rain, "Dear friend, what can I do
To convince you of this fun, we'll have all month through?
The funniest thing of all is they'll give thanks you see?
There is no crystal dragon to accidentally breed."
"Oh no, no," said the little Rain, "you said yourself before,
It will be that Rainbow that come's knocking on their door!"
"Dear friend," said the Mountain, "you're thinking far too much;
There will be several icebergs, and more eight hours and such!
I like your determination, you hold steadfast beliefs;
If that has not convinced you, at six hours they'll feel relief."
"What you say is true too," Rain said, "and so I shall consider;
As long as when this month is over, they will not be too bitter."
And then, too soon, the Rain joined in the charade
And with that simple act began the failed egg parade;
With forty-eight and six and twelve, the hours did tick by
And with each fail somewhere, another player sighed;
Thinking only of the elusive and much esteemed Sapphire,
How quickly do the weeks go by, and soon the month expires.
And when it does, we'll start again, a new one in our grip,
And with some luck and diligence, we will not let it slip!
And now, dear strangers, who may this story read,
Those swindling, bothersome crystal dragons, I pray you ne'er breed;
For other months I know that we have all felt the pain,
But at least this month we're better off with the Mountain and the Rain.
Credit to Mary Howitt with The Spider and the Fly.
And her original work:
Shining brightly
Admired by many
Perhaps I will succeed but
Perhaps not.
Hoping desperately
Irksome failures
Ridiculous time spent
Even more gems
Drat! Foiled again
Rain
Again
Got another iceberg too
Only one joyous accomplishment and it's
Not being bred by me
debstroy
I like to stand in the rain on the mountain top
With the blue moon bright and shiny there
I often dig for gold but had to stop
Cuz all all I got was mud and snow and 1lonely saphire
Some say love blooms under the light of a full moon
But I got neither the the love or the bloom dragon
Now I dig for gold but even sliver would be a boon
for I started playing late and now am laggin
.TommyB.
These are all fantastic. But, alas ...
All my attempts are so spastic, full of trash.
Will I ever succeed, I wonder,
This dragon to breed. I ponder
The cerulean sky, its deep hue,
And cry, "Why, oh why, O Moon Blue,
Dost thou hate my guts?" And, resigned,
One last attempt I must. But I find -
Dare I tap 'incubate'? - happy day!
I had thought, "Too late!" and, "No way!"
Yet prancing majestic, his horn proud,
That dragon fantastic, his roar loud,
My very own Blue Moon - not a Forge -
Nor a moment too soon, name of George!
His eyes are so dreamy. He's so cute!
Oh, I think he sees me! I'm struck mute
As he pierces my soul with his gaze.
His love makes me feel whole. Love's a maze!
I'll be his one true love - I know it!
Hs warm voice calls out, "Rubber biscuit!"
-----
Can a mod please make a poll for this? Please just put each contestant up once, even if they have two entries. And let it run for about a week if you will? That way the poems will be sure to be read and admired.
I like it.